they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
