last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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