You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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