Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
did i just pee glitter
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
