Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You took a bar mat shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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