dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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