He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Enjoy the penises
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
