I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
