Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
God, I missed his penis.
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