we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
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She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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