I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize