I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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