TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
