wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
