chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
