just tell him i said nine months
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
