I could make wine with my vomit
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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