also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
