so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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