is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
