that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dick very happy bro
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
