dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
