Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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