Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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