Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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