O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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