Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
