Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
