i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
