It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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