found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
