found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We need to get me chipped asap
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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