Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize