Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My friends, they love my intelligence
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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