Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize