I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize