Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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