I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
