The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
