just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just texted my mom from a strip club.