If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.