he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
