i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
