If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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