Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn