How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.