you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.