vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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