I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
