id be glad to
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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