I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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