As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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