I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
