I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you traded sex for a burrito?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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