Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
