got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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