WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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