My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize