I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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