well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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