Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
