i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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