OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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