Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
