Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
