We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
