i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
