I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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