and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
