Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
